Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category

Favorite Friday – The Heir to Blair

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Favorite Friday

As part of my effort to add consistency and focus to this blog, I’ve decided to implement what’s known in the publishing world as “departments” (hey, I want to show off some of the knowledge I gained working at a magazine, and I don’t get the opportunity often, ok?)

The first of these departments that I’m going to try is “Favorite Friday,” a weekly column featuring the parts of the blogosphere that I think are noteworthy. I’ll introduce my favorite blogs in introductory write ups, and then provide periodic updates to remind you how awesome those blogs really are.

For the inaugural edition of Favorite Friday, I’d like to introduce you to what is possibly my favorite blog ever.

Heir to Blair

Heir to Blair

I found this blog when I was cruising “The Bump” message boards during my pregnancy. I was struck by this woman’s writing style, sense of humor, and her openness in discussing the realities of pregnancy and life in general (especially when discussing matters that are unpleasant or unpopular). Plus, she’s about my age, she’s Southern, and she was at about the same stage of pregnancy as I was. Oh, and did I mention that she really likes gin? That’s a lot of thumbs up in my book.

Oh, and sometimes, she writes. Like. This. Orlikethis. I love the creative use of punctuation (or lack of punctuation) for emphasis and phrasing. I like to call it “typing like you’re talking.” But it looks dumb when I do it, so I probably won’t. I’ll just keep using an over-abundance of commas, thanks very much.

I also really like that her house is not an immaculate showplace and she doesn’t dress like she’s going to be on a morning talk show. None of that “I got up, showered, did my hair and makeup, baked cookies for orphans, saved a toddler from a well, made a table runner, home-schooled my 6 year old, and made a dinner worthy of a five star restaurant.” I hate those people (I secretly want to be one, but since I’m not, I hate them). No, Blair almost killed her husband with a dinner of raw turkey meat and almost killed her whole family by putting a metal spoon in the microwave.

And the best…when you realize that you have acquired an entirely new perspective as the result of becoming a parent. I’m not talking about all the sweet, sappy, profound realizations. She does do that, too, on occasion, which are always wonderful to read…like this one, with a beautiful poem about how babies don’t keep, which gets me teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Wait, back to my point.

I’m talking about the every day moments that make you more aware of how this little person has changed how you think about every single thing in your life. Observe:

Blair: “It’s yellow. I’m not sure how it will look, but I can return it if I hate it.”

Nate: “I like yellow on you.”

Blair: “It’s bright yellow. Like…baby toy yellow.”

(Excerpt from “Our house overflows with primary colors“)

Her husband knew exactly what color she was talking about…and I’m sure many of her readers did, too. My husband and I had a similar moment once when using the variations of shades of our daughter’s poo to describe a paint color, but I will spare you the particular imagery associated with that discussion.

Anyway, I have continued to follow her for about 6 or 8 months, and she’s one of my blogging heroes. So, I highly recommend checking her out when you get some time. And read the archives…some funny stuff is buried in there, especially in the later stages of pregnancy. So check her out, I command you :)

**I yoinked the photo and some text from theheirtoblair.com without permission, so if the blog owner sees this and wants anything removed, just let me know**

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34 Weeks Pregnant – Baby Has Daddy’s Sense of Direction

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Lost Stork and Baby

So, at my (almost) 34 weeks appointment, the doc confirmed what I had noticed for the past few weeks…my baby is crooked. Technically, she is transverse, which means that she is sideways in the womb. Good job kid…you really only have about 3 options of which way to be in there, and you managed to pick the wrong one. You are obviously your Daddy’s daughter. :)

So, since she is sideways, and Mommy really does not want to have a C-Section or go through an External Version, we are trying EVERYTHING that we can find about how to get her to turn. Well, not everything…I don’t really want to burn my toes, but we’re giving everything else the old college try.

Picture if you will, a calm, late Wednesday night. Big sister is in bed, and sleeping (finally), and the expectant parents are settling down for bed. But before bed, Mommy has to spend 15 minutes trying to turn her little bun in the oven.

Mommy is on the bed, on her knees, with her head and chest down on a small pillow and her butt up in the air. Now, take into consideration that this is not at all a sexy position, with some hot woman on her hands and knees, prowling across the bed. First, it takes several minutes to even get into this position, with one end up and the other down. Then, once Mommy gets her head and chest down, if she’s not careful, she’ll start sliding forward, and she can’t just move her arms and lift herself back into position. No, she basically need outside assistance to push her butt over so that she can somehow roll back onto her side, get up, and start over. Its a much more difficult process than it should be.

Once everything is in position, Mommy wiggles around and points her butt at the lamp, because babies apparently will move towards the light. *Cue ghostly music and a faint voice whispering Go Into the Light* So, once Mommy has her big airborne behind pointed at the beacon of hope that is the small bedside lamp, she informs Daddy that he needs to get down there and talk to the baby, because she might be coaxed more easily if she can move toward a familiar voice. Since Daddy is a good husband, and has learned that he should really just humor most of Mommy’s strange requests, he complies. After a few seconds, he asks what exactly he is supposed to say to the baby.

Mommy, having thought about this very question earlier in the day, tells him to talk to her about how she needs to turn towards Daddy’s voice and the light, so her little head will be down and she can get out. She also suggests reading a book, and notes that it is a damn shame that they don’t own a copy of Goodnight Moon. (Get it?! Bom Bom Cheeeee)

So, Daddy starts explaining, to Mommy’s raised backside, that Baby should take note of this situation and try to prepare herself for the family she is about to enter into, especially the somewhat eccentric ideas that her Mommy is prone to having.

After Mommy is satisfied that they have done their part to try to flip their baby for the evening, she informs Daddy that they are finished, both bid Mommy’s rear end (and the baby) a good night, and all settle down to sweet dreams of fetal acrobatics and cute, little baby butts.

The End

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I’ll Take One Baby, Please

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Baby in Grocery Store

Since we’re in the home stretch now, I thought I’d share some of my to-do lists, because really…who doesn’t like lists?

Now, most first time moms get nice lists in the mail, or online, or from friends and family of all of the things that they should get before the baby comes. These lists usually include things like receiving blankets, diapers, coming home outfit, state-of-the-art diaper disposal system, bottle warmer, Boppy, Bumbo, Paci, etc. Those lists are all well and good, and you do actually need some things on those lists (not most of it, but some), but they never tell you about the shit you REALLY need.

Now, keep in mind that I did not have a C-Section with my first daughter, so I don’t know what you need for that recovery. Some of these items are particular to vaginal birth (pretty obvious which ones are and which ones aren’t).

Top Ten Things to Get Before Baby Comes

10. Huge, cheap undies to take to the hospital.
The consequence of forgetting to buy these is being stuck with gigantic, itchy, mesh shorts provided by the hospital. The key word is cheap though, because you really want them to be disposable.

9. A donut/butt pillow
So the bloody, achy chasm that used to be your baby maker doesn’t have to actually touch anything. Trust me, this is key. The hospital might give you one, but just make sure you know where to get them in case they don’t.

8. Tucks Pads
No one wants to buy these things. No one wants to stand in line at the checkout holding them. That’s why I’ve already ordered a huge tub/jar of them online. Home delivery baby! Seriously though, you will want these. You put several of them, slightly overlapping, in a cute little line in your drawers, and it feels like a nice, cool breeze for a good thirty minutes.

7. Milk Freezer Bags
If you are breastfeeding and plan to pump on a fairly regular basis, these are awesome. You pump, pour it in the bag, freeze it, and then just run warm/hot water over the bag when you need to thaw it out. This is also pretty awesome because you can actually see how much your little bugger is getting to eat, and you can take a break for a while and hand NOM duty over to Daddy. A small cooler bag is handy,too, so you can just throw the frozen milk bags (the actual bags…not your boobs) in the cooler with a bottle and jet.

6. Waterproof Crib Mattress Pads (and a few smaller sizes)
So, that sweet little bundle of joy that you’re bringing home…did you know that, not only is it going to be a champion at teaching you how to pull all-nighters again, but that its also going to be fairly successful at covering almost everything you own in pee, poop, and puke? Yes…it leaks from all kinds of places, and it usually chooses to do it when its directly over something that is difficult to clean or easily ruined by liquids and semi-solids that flow from baby orifices. So, the waterproof pads are great because *surprise* they protect your stuff! I put a waterproof pad under our daughter’s crib sheet for nighttime accidents, and I had some smaller waterproof pads that I would fold up and take with me to use as changing travel changing pads. Actually, when my daughter was having a lot of leaky diapers at night, we put a waterproof pad, then a sheet, then another pad, and another sheet on her bed so that when she had an accident at night, we could just pull off the top sheet and pad and we already had another one ready to go. Very helpful when you’re sleep deprived.

5. Cheap Baby Swing, Bouncer, or Other Baby Holder (to test drive)
Your kid may love their swing or bouncer…or they may absolutely hate it and cry and cry and cry every time you put them in it and scream until their little head looks like its going to fall off. My advice is to just borrow one from a friend of family member who has recently had a child, so you can try it out first. Really, there’s no reason to spend a ton of money on something the kid will hate. You could also try Craigslist or yard sales. In preparation for our first child, we got just about every baby holder we could find, and she only liked two of them. The rest were never used. Not all babies will like the same things, so the more you have available to you for test driving, the better.

4. Bumbo Seat
Now, I know I just said that every baby is different and that they may or may not like the crap you decide to buy to put them in…but I have yet to see a baby that wasn’t at least content in one of these things. Its just a simple little seat. You can also buy a simple little tray to go with it. But really, once that kids can hold its head up on its own, this thing is the greatest. Its pretty small and light, so its easy to travel with or move from room to room. And anytime you need to sit the kid down for a minute to do whatever, just plop ‘em down in the Bumbo and you’re good. Our daughter sat in it every time we fed her until she grew out of it, and it was so easy to take with us wherever we went. Its one of the few things that I’ve found that I think it totally deserving of all of the hype.

3. (TIE) A Good Bottle Brush
I don’t care if you have a dishwasher and you plan on never having to wash a baby bottle in the sink EVER. You WILL. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night and the kid will be screaming bloody murder for a bottle and you’ll frantically search the cabinets and the diaper bag and under the couch and you WILL NOT find a clean bottle anywhere. So you’ll need to wash one. And a regular dish brush/sponge/rag won’t get half of that tiny, curvy little bottle clean. There will be gross gunky gobs of dried milk in all of the little corners and cracks, and even in your sleep deprived state, you will be grossed out to the max. A good bottle brush is not near as much of a waste of money as it sounds like it is, I promise.

3. (TIE) Preemie/Just Born/Newborn Size Clothes
You only need maybe a pack or two of onesies in this size, but you should really have at least something tiny. Most 0-3 month baby clothes are made to fit a kid until they’re around 3 months old, and are often way too big for a newborn. Even a normal sized newborn is going to be tiny, and there’s always the chance that your baby might be a little small or come a little early. And even though they’re adorable, they look pretty funny wearing a onesie that fits like a baby muumuu. Oh, and pick up something long sleeved, even if you’re due in the summer. A sack gown would be fine. Many babies have a hard time regulating their body temperature when they’re first born, and they’ll need something a little warmer to wear, even in the nursery.

2. A Journal or Blog
This is a magical, wonderful time in your life…but you’ll also forget most of it because you’re going to be so tired and stressed and confused about how to take care of this little thing that popped out of you. You need to make time to write down what’s going on, and you need to make time to take photos and videos. You always hear people say “they grow up so fast” and “its gone before you know it”…they’re really not shitting you. You’ll wake up one morning and your kid will be 2 (or 6 or 16). Even if you just write letters or notes to your child and keep them in a folder…just write down what’s up every few weeks or so. You will treasure it more than anything.

And Finally, the most important thing to get before the baby gets here:

1. Another Place to Sleep
Unless you’re lucky and get a kid that sleeps straight through the night at 2 weeks old, this is seriously the most important thing you can do. You and your husband/partner/whatever will be spending a good bit of your available brain power for the next few months trying to figure out how to get at least two hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you have two different rooms with fairly comfortable places to sleep contained in their walls, then you’ll have a much better chance at achieving this. Even if you just pick up a cheap air mattress and put it under the dining room table, after two months of hardly any sleep, you will look at that thing like its a five star hotel. The key is that one person will need to have a comfortable place to sit up with the baby, and the other person needs a place where they can go to get away from all of the screaming and crying…and all of the noises coming from the baby. You’ll need a comfy pillow or two and some decent sheets, and maybe an extra alarm clock. If you have a comfortable couch or a spare bedroom, then you’re probably pretty well set, but just make sure (BEFORE the baby comes) that you have something comfortable.

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33 Weeks Pregnant – The Fun Part

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

So, little girl growing inside my uterus, this is what you have done to Mama:

1. Has to pee AT LEAST every 20 minutes, but often more, since you keep kicking my bladder

2. Cannot sleep for more than 2 hours at a time (this is only partially your fault…your kicking, Daddy’s snoring, your big sister’s waking up and screaming, Daisy’s pawing at my feet, our horrible mattress…they all add up to no sleep for Mommy)

3. Terrible, pinchy back pain every morning

4. Muscle cramps in my legs (especially calf muscles), literally, just from stretching or walking

5. Super Duper tired ALL THE TIME (there should be a law that says Mommies-to-be are required to have three naps a day plus 8 hours of sleep per night)

6. No motivation to do anything, ever

7. Can’t pick up your older sister, and certainly can’t catch her (Mommy is now big, weak and slow…which means Mommy is headed straight for extinction, if we’ve learned anything from evolution and dinosaurs)

9. The extra hormones are making Mommy crazy, which worries Daddy and makes your big sister cry (that tender little heart of hers makes her cry whenever she sees someone who is sad)

10. And the Worst…which never happened with your sister, by the way…Mommy cannot fit into most of her T Shirts and pre-pregnancy clothing (and Mommy was not exactly little before getting pregnant, know what I mean?)

BUT, with all of that, I am starting to get a little bummed that, very soon, I won’t be pregnant anymore. I love feeling you kick and squirm and wiggle, I love feeling your hiccups, and I love being able to put my hands on my belly and know that you’re in there, safe and sound, snug as a bug in a rug. Since you may very well be the last baby we have, and this may be the last time I’m pregnant, I’m trying to cherish all of the little things that I will miss about being pregnant.

One of the absolute best things is sitting on the couch, or in the bath tub, or wherever, and seeing my stomach move. Granted, its not so awesome on some occasions, when you move so quickly that you knock me off my balance. Its not nice to make Mommy fall off the couch, sweetie. But, all-in-all, having you here with me is such a great joy, and I have really loved it (most of it, anyway).

Now, cook as long as you need to in there, but try to not kick Mommy too hard.

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32 Weeks Pregnant – I lost some weeks

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Old Photograph

I think I must have misplaced the last two weeks. I’m not sure where they went.

The guy in the photo above looks about how I feel. Except he needs to feel like he’s five hundred pounds. Sorry I don’t happen to have a picture of an old, faded, tired, warped, water-damaged fat man.

Honestly, I’m in a fog most days now. I’m pretty tired, but can’t sleep at night, and have too much to do during the day to take naps. Oh, and did I mention my two year old, who has now figured out how to escape onesies? An escape artist, I swear. So, I look up and see a naked baby butt running around the table, and I have to get up, go get a paper towel, and look for any accidents that may have occurred while we were streaking. She keeps me on my toes.

I’ve been trying to work on my list of to-dos before the baby gets here at the end of October, and I’m making a little progress. We’re having family pictures made this weekend…check. Had the termite guy out today to renew our termite bond…check. Scheduled the 75K mile maintenance for the family car…check. So that’s three down…and 27 to go. Awesome.

I think I’ll just forget the to-do list for the day and go get some hugs from my little nudist.

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30 Weeks Pregnant – I need SUGAR!

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

Adorable Cupcakes

I am 30 weeks pregnant today…THIRTY WEEKS! We’re almost there, little pumpkin! Not only am I 30 weeks, but my total weight gain for this pregnancy is actually on the low end (thanks terrible, horrible, 3 months of morning sickness!), so I actually kind of need these calories!

To celebrate this achievement, I think cupcakes are in order. And it just so happens that I sent the hubby out last night for a box of 6, so I have plenty on hand!

And, since I spent a good thirty minutes yesterday scouring the intrawebs for cupcakes, I thought I’d share some of the cutest, coolest, yummiest-looking cupcakes I encountered. Enjoy!

Wii (Mii) Cupcakes
Wii (Mii) Cupcakes at Pioneer Woman

Super Mario Cupcakes
Super Mario Cupcakes from Flickr user Hello Naomi

Adorable Cupcakes
Adorable Cupcakes at Hostess with the Mostess

Hamburger Cupcakes
Hamburger Cupcakes at Yummy Pancake

Creepy Brain Cupcakes
Creepy Brain Cupcakes at Dabbled.org

And here are a few other cupcake-ilicious links:
• Cupcakes at Cute Addict Cupcake Blog
• Cupcakes at Bohemian Magic Blog

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Epiphanies and Episiotomies

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

The Birth That's Right For You

I’ve had a bit of “the pregnant funk” for the past few days. No, that is not a pregnancy-related slang term used to describe some gross occurrence that only pregnant women can stomach hearing about…its just the whole “I feel so fat and I can’t get a good night’s sleep and I just don’t feel like doing ANYTHING” feeling that pregnant women tend to get more often than the average person. I seriously have had a difficult time even thinking about work since last Saturday, much less doing any of it. And let me tell you, when you’re self-employed, a lack of motivation is a dangerous thing. No work equals no money…period.

So, in the interest of eating and paying bills, I’ve been trying to get my lazy, pregnant ass in gear.

Now, through the past few days, there were only two things that excited me enough to make me somewhat motivated…ice cream and the possibility of getting to watch “The Business of Being Born.” Yes, that movie. After reading and enjoying “Your Best Birth,” which is the natural birth propaganda book that goes along with the movie, I decided I needed some visuals. So, the other day I send the hubby out to Blockbuster to look for it. I was so excited while he was gone! And then he comes home empty-handed. I was pretty disappointed, but I was alright.

Then, yesterday, I realize that they might have the movie at the library. So, I send the hubby out again, to the library this time, to find my movie, and maybe a couple of books on my list. He is super excited, since he never gets to go to the library. So, he leaves, grinning from ear to ear, with instructions to not be long at the library and to run by the grocery store on his way home. An hour later, I haven’t heard anything from him, and both the library and the store are very close to our house, so I call. He has just gotten to the store. Apparently, it was obvious in my voice that I was unhappy this was taking him so long.

He gets home about 15 minutes later, and informs me that they didn’t have the movie at that library, and they didn’t have any of the books I wanted. He got me some other book, which I immediately want to throw at his head because its nothing like the books I wanted. He also tells me that the other library about 10 minutes from our house has it (but doesn’t offer to go get it or anything), and I watch him walk happily into the living room with his stack of books. This sends me straight into a fit of despair. I’m so not joking about this. I went to the bathroom and cried for a good 10 minutes. I was devastated.

This is how my pregnant funk works. I feel so useless and hopeless and lame and tired that when I do finally figure out something that sounds appealing to me, and then I don’t get it, its like you have just ripped out my soul. When I did finally share with hubby how he had broken my heart into a million little pieces by not getting the movie, I was so deep in the trows of despair that I started venting about every single thing that has upset me in the past six months. Mind you, this wasn’t all stuff that he had done…just anything. Like the man who didn’t put his cart in the cart corral at Lowe’s or the fear of having the day care people tell me that our daughter would have to be in a younger class because of her delays. Seriously….EVERYTHING.

But the big thing was that he didn’t get my movie…the only thing I had been looking forward to for days. Instead of my movie or my books that I wanted, he brought me “The Birth That’s Right For You.” I’ve already decided what kind of birth I want! I asked you to get me books on how to achieve the birth I want! Have you not been listening?!

So, this morning, I flip through this book…this offensive, insensitive, half-assed attempt to appease me…and its awesome. I read a little bit of it, and thoughts and ideas and concepts just start jumping out at me. You don’t need to memorize some crazy breathing technique! You don’t need to learn to hypnotize yourself! Medication is not evil, and neither is no medication! You just have to figure out what type of birth will work best for you based on how you already handle pain and stress in your everyday life.

It blew me away. Seriously? You’re not going to tell me that you way is the best way and that anything else is wrong? What?! You don’t even HAVE a way?!

I think I’ll write and actual review of each of these books. Yes, that is what I’ll do. (Stay tuned)

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How to Get it Out of You

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

No! I want to go back in! Newborn baby

So while I’m on the topic of pregnancy, I’d like to discuss my latest feeling on the actual process of delivering a baby (“getting it out of you,” as referenced in the title of this post.)

When preparing for the birth of my first daughter, I did a good bit of research. I read birth stories online and several books about childbirth written by celebrities and a few by experts. I made a birth plan and took it in to my doctor, and went over everything. I knew all about mucus plugs, bag of waters, contractions, C-sections, epidurals, rooming in, latching on, episiotomies, apgars and the football hold*. I was totally prepared….or so I thought.

*On a side note, I have learned, through extensive time on online mommy communicates, that if you are currently pregnant and you don’t know what one of these terms means, then you are doomed to be a horrible mother. You are obviously not at all prepared to bring a life into the world, because everyone knows that nothing can be done correctly until you’ve read at least three books on the subject, aced at least two related vocab quizzes, and memorized every acronym and abbreviation associated with the subject. :)

So anyway, I’m in my third trimester, and I think I’ve got everything pretty well under control. Then one day I go to the bathroom, and it looks like I’ve peed on myself. I remember my exact thought process…”Funny, I don’t remember peeing on myself…did I sneeze today?…I had to have peed myself…how else would…OH MY GOD I MUST BE LEAKING AMNIOTIC FLUID!!!” Turns out I really had just peed myself and not known that it happened. Yep…so prepared.

After reading countless articles and first-hand accounts of amniotic fluid leaking and water breaking, I still had no idea what it was actually going to feel like. Everyone was like “you’ll know” when this or this happens, but you really don’t, if you’ve never had it happen before. Everything that happens to your body feels new and weird and unusual, so it gets difficult, after 6 months of these new and strange feelings, to determine what new and strange feeling is important/dangerous/urgent and what isn’t. And if nothing important/dangerous/urgent happens, you’re going to be more freaked out because you’re constantly waiting and wondering if this new and strange thing is urgent enough to call your doctor or go to the hospital or if you should just sit down, eat some more ice cream and watch another Baby Story or Birth Day on TV.

Usually, the answer is ice cream.

Well, for several weeks prior to my due date, I keep getting these weird hardening feelings in my stomach. These are called Braxton Hicks contractions, for anyone who didn’t ace the vocab. It literally felt like my entire stomach became rock hard, and I would feel some pressure in my nether regions (almost like when you need to take a poo…yeah yeah, kind of tmi, but that’s the best comparison). So, these contractions never hurt…they were just pretty uncomfortable. They would often come at regular intervals, and even got a little more regular a few times, but they always tapered off on their own about the time I decided to call someone or wake up my husband. These BH contractions, also known as pre-labor or false labor, got me from 2cm dilated and 75% effaced at my 37 week appointment to 7cm dilated and 90% effaced the morning of my due date. Yes, 7cm and 90% effaced is where I was when I walked into the hospital for my induction on the morning of my due date. My body was about to go into what they call transitional labor, which is the home stretch, and usually the worst part. Some women will have their water break and get to the hospital and they’re only 3cm dilated, and they’re already groaning like a wildebeast from the pain, and they still have ten hours to go before they’re even close to fully dilated. I didn’t realize at the time how awesome it was that I was 7cm. I wish I did.

At my 39 week appointment on the previous Thursday, I was 5cm dilated and 80% effaced, and they said that since I was so dilated, there was a high risk of infection, so they wanted to induce me on Monday morning if I did not go into labor over the weekend. I didn’t really want to be induced, but infection sounded bad, so I was fine with the plan. Honestly, I was also pretty tired of being pregnant. It was May and starting to get hot, and I was just so uncomfortable and impatient.

But I got to the hospital, and I was almost there. I thought about being like “Hey! Wait a minute! I’m in labor…can we just hang out for a while and see where it goes? I kind of like this no pain thing I’ve had so far, and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up.” Of course, I didn’t say anything. I am the first person to drive back through a drive thru to tell the people at McDonald’s that they got my order wrong, or that the tea tastes sour or whatever, but when it comes to questioning a doctor, I have absolutely no balls.

So, they broke my water and gave me pitocin. I had apparently forgotten to check up on all the induction methods while doing my research, because I had no idea what that pitocin would do. It basically makes your contractions really strong, and makes them come one on top of the other, and it works very quickly. So, your body has been not really having contractions, and then it all-of-a-sudden goes into full out labor within an hour. It was seriously the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It was completely unbearable pain, especially when they started coming right on top of each other. To me, it was like the worst menstrual cramp you’ve ever had, plus gas pain, heart burn, and that horrible tingly feeling when your foot goes to sleep…all that together, times a hundred. No no…times a thousand. You get the idea.

Before the pitocin, I was 7cm and 90% effaced….almost there, with some moderate discomfort. After, I was literally trying to crawl backwards up the bed and wall behind me to get away from the pain. I could not take it, and I got the epidural. The epidural was actually done exactly like it should be…no pain in the lower half of my body, but I could still feel a little, and I could tell when I had contractions. I felt the pressure of them, but not the pain. About 45 minutes after the epidural, I was 9cm dilated. Thirty minutes later, I was ready, and after 15 minutes of pushing, I has my little girl. I didn’t feel any pain during the birth, but I could feel it when they started stitching me up, and let me tell you…that hurt even with the epidural.

All in all, it was pretty awesome. I was only in the hospital about 5 hours total, and it wasn’t even 4 hours from the time they broke my water and started the pitocin to the time she was born. The drugs they gave me with the epidural were fantastic, and literally made me feel about as happy and giggly as I could ever imagine being. The pushing went well, and I felt pretty good after I got her out. We had about an hour with her in the room before they took her for a bath and took me to my recovery room, and I was on the phone calling friends shortly after that. So really, I never felt too freaked out, and I felt like everything went great.

But ever since then, I’ve had this nagging feeling…7cm and 90% effaced? I just feel like I could have done it without the induction. I think my body would have been able to do the rest of the dilating pretty well on its own, since it got like three quarters of the way there without any real pain or complications. I felt like the induction was unnecessary. I heard the word “infection” and just stopped asking questions. While everything went fine, and I am so thankful to have had such a wonderful first experience with childbirth, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that my body could have done it if I had just spoken up and trusted that I could do it.

So, that’s how I’ve come to the decision that I want to be more active in this pregnancy. I want to feel more in control of how the birth actually happens, and I want to give my body a chance to see if it can do what its supposed to do. I mean, I’ve had these “birthin’ hips” all my life, and if that’s not a body built for birthin’ than I don’t know what is. I want to have the balls to speak up and ask what “risk of infection” actually means if it comes up, and what else can be done about it besides forcing the baby out when it might not be ready to come out.

How am I going to prepare? Stay tuned to find out…

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Bun in the Oven Part 2 (AKA: I don’t remember this)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Ultrasound

One thing that I have learned about a second pregnancy is that just because you’ve done it once doesn’t mean that you’re prepared for everything the second time around.

For example, our first daughter was born weighing in at less than 5lbs (due to what we found out later was a genetic condition), and I was fairly small for a pregnant woman throughout the pregnancy. This time has been quite different. I already feel like I’m as big as I was the day I gave birth to baby #1, and I’m just starting my third trimester. Last time, I had a few night time leg cramps, and had to sleep with a pillow between my legs for a few weeks. This time, I started sleeping with the pillow halfway through second trimester and I have started having such bad leg pain that I walk with a limp during the day. My back pain this time has me hunched over for several hours every morning, and I can barely bend at my waist because this baby is so low.

So, with all of this in mind, I want you to picture me last pregnancy…obviously pregnant, but not huge; glowing; great hair and longer nails than ever; cheery, bouncy, happily napping with the cat about once every day or two; prancing around the condo, painting, cleaning, shopping and preparing. Now, picture me this time…an already overweight (from leftover baby #1 fat), very pregnant woman hunched over and waddling with a limp, exhausted from chasing a two-year-old around the house. There’s no napping, prancing, shopping, or preparing…just me trying to justify in my head that “the baby doesn’t need anything that we can’t pull out of the attic in the next 3 months, anyway.” I actually don’t even really feel like shopping, even though it doesn’t matter anyway since all of our “extra money” we used to have now goes to buying diapers and paying off the bill from when we bought daughter #1 from the hospital.

Don’t get me wrong…I want this baby to be healthy and fully developed, and she probably should be bigger than her sister. But really, this has been like night and day in some respects. Back pain, leg pain, full on waddle in second trimester, and the worst…growing out of all of my cute maternity clothes from the first pregnancy.

After our first daughter was born, I said I loved being pregnant and wanted 10 more kids. After this, I think the girls will have to be happy with just the two of them.

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Bun in the Oven Part 1 (AKA: Where the hell are my toes?!)

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Pregnancy series of cartoons

I had this roommate in college, who I lived with for about three years, and he ended up being one of my best friends. So, he and I had this math class together. Mind you, this was a math class in art school, so its not like it was a really tough class, and it was really the only math class either of us ever had to take. All I remember about the professor is that he was fairly young, and I was sure that he was a big pot head. I think he had crazy hair, too. So, this class wasn’t very difficult, and we had a lot of extra time on our hands.

Although I don’t remember how it started, this roommate starts using his time in class to draw little cartoons about me being pregnant. This was infinitely funny to everyone (our other roommates and friends), and it became sort of a running joke. I’m sure it had something to do with me being from a small town in South Carolina, and my continued insistence that, despite what they may think, I was always going to be proud of my success in life because I made it to college without ever being pregnant.

Well, I had the forethought to scan these and keep them. I’m so glad I did. I now realize, looking back at them, that these things that we thought were funny at the time are actually really true about pregnancy. Take the image above…the caption on the right reads “Trying to look at her toes but she can’t because she’s pregnant.” This seemed cute at the time, and everyone has always heard the whole thing about not being able to see anything below your belly.

But let me tell you…its not so funny when its true. I can see my toes…its not that bad yet. However, that belly really does block your view.

The morning before my last doctor’s appointment, I was trying to access whether or not my south of the border region needed any grooming. I wasn’t sure if I would be starting the pelvic exams yet or not, and, honestly, I have this fear of going to the doctor and them saying something along of the lines of “Go get the machete…time for a jungle adventure!”

So, I’m standing there trying to get a good look…and I can’t. I can’t see anything. Our bathroom mirror above the sink is hung pretty high, and I’m pretty short, so that wasn’t going to help much. I got our two-year-old’s potty/step stool, climbed up, and tried again for a mirror view. No dice…still too short. I thought maybe I could coax our little pumpkin back into my belly, closer to my spine, so that I could suck in the belly enough for a decent overhead view. I tried lifting the belly, trying to push it over to the side…nothing.

Finally, I gave up and resigned myself to the fact that, while there would be at least 5 to 10 people who see a little too much of my nether regions over the next 3 months, I would not be one of them.

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