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Sewing Class Update…and Why The Godmother is Awesome

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Had our second sewing class tonight, and again, had tons of fun. I love those ladies. The Godmother and the BFF are the best classmates ever, and our teacher and her mom crack me up. The BFF’s “doo-vlay” is coming along swimmingly, and The Godmother, while she had a little oopsie with measuring tonight, is going to be gifting some gorgeous bedding in a couple of weeks. I love that my friends have such good taste, so I don’t have to try to think of something nice to say when something looks bad. They both picked out such great fabrics, and I can’t wait to see how everyone’s projects turn out.

So, for those who don’t know me, my birthday is coming up (Saturday), and I haven’t really thought about it too much. Well, other than to make plans for My Mamma and Diddy to come visit and get some Red Lobster cheese biscuits. I LOVE RL cheesy biscuits.

So yeah, birthday…hadn’t thought about it too much, and was so pleasantly surprised when I walk into sewing class and The Godmother gives me a gift bag! And it contained a candle that smells like cupcake icing (I want to eat it…the candle, I want to eat the candle…is that weird?) and the beautiful vintage daisy dish that I wrote about last month! That girl is so thoughtful! Thank you Godmother!

I think that she should now be The Fairy Godmother, because she is so awesome (and because The Godfather suggested it) and because she is the opposite of a “fairy,” which makes it both funny and ironic.

See, fairies are kind of dainty, right, and pretty fragile.

Let me tell a quick story to explain why she is the opposite of a fairy. I think I’m telling this story right, but if I’m not, feel free to correct me. I heard it secondhand from a bunch of drunks, so details are blurry.

Well, when a friend of ours (who happens to be a rather burly and tough looking fellow) was exploring the possibility of coming to blows with another fellow (who had attempted to man-handle said friend’s wife), he turned not to The Godfather or Kyla Brown (or any other male in the area), but to The Godmother, and said “You got my back, right?”

To which she surveyed the opposition and said “He’s a pansy, you can take him” and walked off.

Now that is badass.

And I can tell you, if you want someone to plan your party, help you pick out home furnishings, decipher your insurance explanation of benefits or get your back in a fight, she is an excellent person to call.

Or when you find yourself temporarily homeless, as we have on several occasions, she’s all like “come on over!” Even if you need to stay for a month. No joke. I owe this girl way more than a slightly matured house plant.

So, yeah…THANK YOU GODMOTHER! I’ll post pictures of the dish in its new home soon:)

[EDITED TO ADD] – I didn’t just write this because she gave me a present…that’s just what reminded me that I had wanted to write about how awesome she is :)

Posted in A Funny Thing Happened, Life in General, On My Mind, Sewing | 1 Comment »

Gimme the Beat Boys, and Free My Soul

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

I love being a mother. I love having children. And I love raising children. While we’re far from perfect, and maybe a bit unconventional on some of our parenting choices (you’ll see…just hold on), I think we’re pretty great people, and I think we have a lot of valuable things to teach these little ones. One way we were really hoping to impact their lives was to instill a love of music in each of them very early.

We have tried to play them music on a regular basis, from early in each pregnancy onward. But we skipped the whole “play classical music for your baby” thing. We just played them what we like. We’re terrible parents, I know.

When Sadie was a baby, we had the hardest time getting her to stay asleep. We tried everything, and most of the time, nothing worked. She would fall asleep, but getting her to stay that way was just short of impossible. You know what eventually worked? The Wu-Tang Clan.

Yes, we played Wu-Tang for our infant daughter. And she effin’ loved it. Couldn’t get enough.

You could turn on Wu-Tang, and she would be asleep for at least a half hour. At least. Sometimes, for several hours at a time, which was like ten days in parents-of-not-sleeping-baby-time. It was way more than awesome. It was heaven.

Now, Sadie’s Daddy is a big fan of old school rap, and he was so proud of this. He thought he had the most awesome baby in the world. Well, I’m sure he already thought that, but her love of the Wu-Tang made it even more awesome for him. She even liked most of the Wu-tang Clan members’ solo work. I think Ol’ Dirty was her favorite.

This is when we decided that she was totally a Daddy’s girl. I mean, Sadie has been the spitting image of her father since she was born, but this was their first big bonding thing. Mommy was fine going a month, or two, or twelve without hearing any rap, because Mommy is about as white as white can be. Mommy has no soul, can’t really dance, and is just not a big fan of rap. But Daddy and Sadie could share this passion for the Wu-Tang, and Mommy thought it was really sweet.

Until Sadie started learning to talk, and starting mimicking words she would hear…and Mommy wouldn’t let Daddy and Sadie listen to the Wu anymore.

Now, when miss Ruby came along, we wondered if she would be as big of a fan of music as her older sister. Would she like rap too? We found out really quickly that she also had a strong musical preference, but it turned out to be the exact opposite of Sadie’s taste.

This kid likes Steely Dan.

I’m not sure if there is anything more opposite of Wu-Tang than Steely Dan.

The two things that Steely Dan and Wu-Tang do have in common? They’re both musical groups that Daddy really really likes. And they’re both musical groups that Mommy doesn’t.

It’s not that I hate either band, but I would never seek to listen to either one of them. I’ll listen to either one if it’s on, but I probably won’t be very happy about it.

And my children, God love ‘em. They have each, in their own infancy, forced me to make the decision between either listening to one of their favorite songs (Reunited for Sadie or Rikki Don’t Lose That Number for Ruby) for the 900th time or seeing my darling child’s face scrunch up in heart-wrenching pain just before starting in on that gazillion decibel cry that only a baby can produce.

Maybe this is them trying to give me time to prepare for the years when my car radio will be held hostage by two overly-dramatic teenage girls.

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Posted in A Funny Thing Happened, Child Rearing, Life in General, On My Mind | No Comments »

Paper Clips and Play Pens One Year Blogiversary

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

A Year of Paper Clips and Play Pens - One Year Blogiversary

A quick look back at some of the posts from the past year. Actually, that’s most of them (bad Karen, bad, bad…such a slacker).

Top to bottom down each column.
1. An Ode to Ivy
2. I Taught Myself Crochet!
3. Martha’s Tissue Paper Pom Poms
4. Black Heart Anti-Valentines Day Contest
5. Bun in the Oven Part 2 (AKA: I don’t remember this)
6. What’s On My Mind Today – Joe Wilson, where are your manners?!
7. 34 Weeks Pregnant – Baby Has Daddy’s Sense of Direction
8. I’ll Take One Baby, Please
9. How to Make a Mean Grilled Cheese
10. Crafts – Winter Window

So, even though I’ve been keeping a blog of some sort or another off and on since late 2006, Paper Clips and Play Pens has been the home of all of my rambling anecdotes since January 12, 2009. Yep, that’s right. It’s been an entire year since I started this blog with a post about making grilled cheese sandwiches.

And, by the way, I have decided that it should be spelled “blogiversary.” Since anniversary is spelled with an “i,” you can’t spell blogiversary with an “a” or an “o.” So its decided then.

I started off with a very specific vision of what I wanted this blog to be, but quickly realized that the blog that I wanted would have to be written by someone else…because it just wasn’t something I could do. I wanted to try to use it as my motivation/excuse to do things I had been wanting to do. I had this grandiose vision of somehow making myself become the type of person who would have a blog like the one I wanted to have. However, I have realized that there are just some things that I don’t have the time or motivation for, and even the idea of seeing it written up all pretty with beautifully coordinating, brightly-colored images can’t give me that kind of time or ambition.

Like learning to cook. I though maybe if I felt like I had someone/something to share all of my progress with, a place where I could document my small accomplishments along the way, it would force me to make time to do it. I made a handful of grilled cheese sandwiches, undercooked rice 8 times, and melted the handle off my favorite big plastic spoon. Needless to say, this was pretty unsuccessful.

Or maybe if I knew I needed photos for the blog, I would be better about capturing our lives and activities in photos. Like if I told myself I would post a belly picture every month of my pregnancy and write about how I was feeling, how much weight I had gained, etc., maybe I would actually take the photos every month. But then I would forget to photograph my belly and not post about it purely because I didn’t have pictures to go with the post. I think I might have ended up posting less because of it, and I still don’t have many photos from the year to show for it.

And everything just seemed like such a hassle, and then I felt like a failure. Oh, woe is me! It just didn’t quite work out like I had hoped.

So, I’m switching it up a bit for this next year. I’m going to try to organize and revise the space I have in order to better document the shit that I actually do. I will probably still try to motivate myself to learn some new skills and hobbies, and will likely write about those exploits here, but I’m going to look at it as doing it for me, and not for the blog.

And it absolutely must be something that I would read myself. That is one goal that I think is both reasonable and attainable.

So, dear blog, I promise that this next year for you will see many more regular posts about a variety of topics, and you will, if nothing else, be something that I enjoy writing and enjoy reading.

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Posted in Life in General, On My Mind | 3 Comments »

It Takes Someone Special to be a Momma

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

As mentioned previously, I’m going to refer to my mother as “My Momma,” when mentioning her on this blog.

I feel that I should call her My Momma, lest she not know that I’m talking about her. I’ve called her “momma” (or mama or mamma, however you want to spell it) all of my life, and, let me tell you, she may not always answer to “mom,” or any other term used to address a mother that is not pronounced exactly “Momma.” Let me explain.

Shortly after Sadie, my oldest daughter, was born, we went to stay the weekend with my parents. My Momma told me that, if Sadie woke up in the night and I needed some help, to just call her. So, sure enough, Sadie woke up in the middle of the night and was crying her little heart out, as she was want to do. I was having a hard time consoling her, and thought I would take advantage of My Momma’s offer.

So I walked to the top of the stairs, and whisper-yelled down.

“Mom?”

Nothing.

A little louder maybe?

“Mom!”

Nada. Kept trying.

“Mom! Mom! MOM!”

I was sure someone would wake up. My dad can be a really light sleeper, so I was sure he would hear me and wake her up.

Nope. Nothing.

The crying baby in the Pack’n'Play and my feeble attempts to call for help fell on deaf (or sound asleep) ears. I gave up temporarily and tried, again, to get my baby back to sleep.

Sadie wasn’t even really used to sleeping at home, and was certainly not having any of this sleeping at someone else’s house. So, after a while longer with no luck, I decided to try again to ask for assistance.

I went to the top of the stairs, and called “Mom” in my whisper-yell again. No answer. So I crept down a little ways and tried again. Still nothing. I was getting nowhere. I kept getting a little louder and a little lower down the stairs until I was right outside their door and speaking with a somewhat frantic voice at a volume that you would use to scold a toddler across the room. Now that Sadie is almost 3, I know that volume well.

“Mom?!”

No response.

I went back upstairs and stood outside the door to my room. In one final, pitiful attempt, I said quietly and desperately “Momma?!”

“Huh? Karen?! Are you ok?! What’s wrong?!!!”

I could have throat punched her.

Well, not really. But I was feeling a strong mixture of overwhelming relief and pure anger. I had been calling her on and off for a good hour, and she didn’t answer because I left off a single stinking syllable?

Apparently, her motherly instinct requires very specific code words to be called into action.

And she will never live this down :)

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The List – 2009

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Now that we’ve gone over my goals/to-do list for 2010, let’s see what kind of progress I made on last year’s list:

• I want to write. – Eh…if you call this writing

• I want to be crafty. – Yeah, I was kind of crafty

• I want to be the master of the grilled cheese sandwich. – Surprisingly, I did not master the grilled cheese. I think I made 3 or 4 all year

• I want to go out in my yard and cut fresh flowers to put in the vase on my mantle, and then I want to go back out into the yard and use a circular saw and a nail gun to make something…anything. – Cut some flowers, but never actually built anything

• I want to use the Wii Fit for at least an hour a day three times a week. – Big fat nope

• I want to not let my daughter sleep until 10AM so that I can clean and work without interruption. – Got this one most of the time

• I want to be up at 6:30 and in bed by 11. – Big, big fat nope

• I want to eat at least two actual meals per day, with each meal consisting of at least some meat, some potato or bread, and some fruit or vegetable. – Not really…but I did take my vitamins almost every day!

• I want to either be at home alone or out of my house with friends (without my husband and/or daughter) at least once a month. – I think this did happen a few times…see goal for this year

• I want to learn to bake, sew, build a table, and weld. – Bake, kind of…sew, not yet…negative on the table…welding, HaHaHa! nope

• I want to wear clothes that fit. I want to own clothes that fit. – I was knocked up…this wasn’t really possible, and, therefore, not my fault

• I want to own clothes that were not previously owned by my husband or my mother. – Maternity clothes count, right?

• I want to sleep for 6 hours straight and not have back or leg pain when I wake up…I want a new mattress, or a separate bed for my husband. – FAIL

• I want to feel awake, and feel like I’ve gotten enough sleep…at least twice a week. – Again, pregnancy made this impossible, so it’s not my fault

• I want to feel like I’m enjoying all of my blessings. – I think I did pretty good on this one

• I want to feel like I’m making the most out of the time I have. – Yeah, pretty good on this, too, but I could do better

Maybe I’ll add these to my to-do list for this year. Progress has got to be better, since I won’t have a bun in the oven ruining all of my motivation (yes, I just blamed my newborn child for my failings as a human…I’m a horrible mother…Maybe improving that situation should be another goal).

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Starting Over – 2010

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

2010

Yeah, things got a little crazy there at the end of 2009. Juggling two small children, therapies, doctor appointments, housework, work, finances, holiday parties, and a minor case of the winter blues left me with little motivation for the blog.

So, with 2010, I’ve decided to start over, and try to rededicate myself to this blog. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment to get something out there, and I think it will do me some good. So, for my first post of 2010 (and hopefully, one of many, many post that will happen this year), I’ve decided that it’s a great time to share my to-do list. It’s not really New Year’s resolutions…just some crap that I need to do :)

1. Finish writing the birth story
Seriously, can I not manage to sit down and finish this thing before she is three months old?!

2. Spend more time with the blog and add some kind of consistency
I’m all over the place on this thing, and I think I need to make it make sense. I could write about whatever is on my mind on whatever day I feel like writing, and I probably still will, but I would like to give this thing some focus. I’m not sure what level of success I will attain with this goal, but I’ll give it a shot.

3. Learn to sew
The wonderful Momma In Law gave me a sewing machine for Christmas, so I must learn to use it. I’m really excited about this gift, and I have to make myself make time for it.

4. Get all of my photos into albums
Walgreen’s sells albums for super cheap, and they look awesome. I looked all over the place to find ones like this, and the price tag makes the goal of photo organization seem attainable.

5. Take pictures of the things I make, especially “before and after” shots
I’m terrible about this. Gotta do better, for reals, or else no one will ever believe that I made this stuff.

6. Really get dressed and leave the house at least once every two weeks
This seems like something that should not have to be a goal, but I work from home and take care of two small children, so, currently, a good day is me putting on a pair of jeans and a bra before one of the therapists comes over. A great day is taking a shower, brushing my hair and putting on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt that is not covered in spit up and/or food thrown by an irate toddler. A phenomenal day is a great day, plus leaving the house with the kids and the hubby. Now, if I ever have a phenomenal day minus the hubby and the girls, I think my head would implode. No joke.

7. Win the lottery
This just keeps getting pushed back in the to-do list, but I really think I need to go ahead and make this happen ;)

8. Come up with a financial plan for our future that does not involve the lottery
In case I don’t get to #7.

9. Be more social online
I’m such a scrooge about the Spacebook and Myface and Tweetying. I don’t leave comments on blogs, I don’t subscribe to anything, I don’t post things on my wall or send people imaginary farming implements. I likely won’t start throwing imaginary pies, because that’s just silly, but I think I will try to be a bit more social. Come on, even my dad has internet friends, and I’m supposed to be the one that’s all hip to the intrawebs.

10. Start on the house to-do list
What you are reading now is my “personal time” to-do list. There is also a house to-do list, a marriage to-do list, a family to-do list, a decorating to-do list and a work to-do list. The house to-do list takes very high priority, since the house needs some work. Some examples of the house to-do list include adding insulation under our floors (because looking through the cracks at the ground beneath has lost its charm), building some kind of storage in the bathroom (because no bathroom storage has also lost its charm), and replacing the water supply line pipes (because cast iron is for cooking…not for carrying rusty water to my bathtub). Wow, this makes my house sound like a shithole. Its really not a shithole…its “charming” and “vintage.” And it is safe, I swear…these are slight exaggerations.

So, anyway, Happy Twenty-Mens!

Posted in Life in General, On My Mind | No Comments »

What’s On My Mind Today – Joe Wilson, where are your manners?!

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

South Carolina Flag

Dear Congressman Wilson,

As a proud South Carolina native, I just want to know…

Why are you going around acting like you ain’t got no Mama?!

Regardless of how you feel about what the President said, or how you feel about him, that behavior is totally uncalled for. Where are your manners? I’m sure your Mama taught you better than that!

Now listen…those of us that live in South Carolina expect a certain amount of eccentricity from our government officials. That’s how we like it. We want them to get together over sweet tea and whiskey and talk about seceding from the union every summer…we want them to bring farm animals into the State House…we want them to stand up for their beliefs and make themselves heard, even if their opinion isn’t popular with the rest of the country or the rest of their party.

However, we also want them to say “yes ma’am,” “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” like those are the only words they know. We expect them to hold the door, pass the biscuits, and immediately offer drinks to any company that may stop by. I’m sure your Mama taught you to show respect for people who are speaking by refraining from interrupting them with inappropriate outbursts. Would you have done that if your Mama was sitting beside you?

So, please, Congressman Wilson (and all of South Carolina’s other public representatives), if you’ve gotta act like a fool, please at least be a polite, well-mannered fool.

Thank you kindly for your time,

A Richland County voter

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Posted in On My Mind, Politics | 1 Comment »

What’s On My Mind Today – Healthcare

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Dear Republicans,

Would you guys just cool out? There are plenty of legitimate reasons to be against Obama’s health care plan…you don’t need to go making shit up. Having volunteered there and having two family members who work there, I can tell you that Hospice is a fine place, and they do not kill grandmothers. Stop it with the death panels and baby killers…really, just read the damn bill and pick something that’s actually in there to be upset about.

And stop acting like you could do a better job at this. It takes getting a Democrat into office before we even get real discussions on health care. Ya’ll had plenty of time to bring it up, and you didn’t. So don’t go around acting like “Oh, you should listen to US…WE KNOW how do it best.” You had your chance…now be nice and debate in a civilized manner that bill that Obama has proposed. We need ya’ll to actually read it and make sure that nothing that is actually a really bad idea goes through. Doctors discussing end of life care is surely not the worst thing ya’ll can find in that bill.

Please get your shit together.

Thanks.

———————

Dear Democrats,

Ya’ll have got to stop trying to accuse everyone of being un-American or “extremists” or trouble makers just because they don’t agree with what you’re proposing. I’m tired of people playing that card. “If you don’t support this war, you’re a friend of the terrorists” or “If you don’t support this health care plan then you hate America”…see the similarities there?

Now, I really appreciate what you guys are doing. Everyone would love to have free or really affordable insurance. Truth is though, you can’t get something for nothing, and I still haven’t heard what I’m supposed to give up for this great health care. I’m dying to know (haha…cute pun, yeah?)

And I have a proposal for you guys. One major way to cut cost is to stop cutting up all of our pregnant women. How is it that 1/3 of the women giving birth in this country have to have major surgery to get the kid out? How about we try to support midwifery a bit more for low risk pregnancies, like the entire rest of the civilized world. We lose more mommies and babies than just about every other civilized country…how is that? Women are made to have babies, and generally speaking, their bodies can do it without getting cut open, so we don’t we maybe try that and save the surgeries for the people who really need it?

So yeah, take a look at that for me, and get back to me on the whole “trade-off” thing.

Thanks.

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Posted in Life in General, On My Mind | 1 Comment »

What’s On My Mind Today – Noggin

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Dear Anti-TV Parents,

Sitting my child in front of Noggin for a few hours everyday will not kill her. I spent most of the summers of my childhood watching soap operas and reruns of Gilligan’s Island, and the only harm it did me was giving me an illogical anxiety about people returning from the dead and long boat tours. Other than that, totally fine.

Now, if I sat her in front of the TV and left it on, say, Spike TV, so she could watch CSI for 6 hours straight and then catch up on her wrestling moves, I could see grounds for complaint. However, an animated moose trying to teach her how to count seems ok to me.

As a mother who works from home, educational preschool TV saves my sanity many a day. Please respect my right to turn my daughter’s brain into goo.

Thank you.

———————

Dear Nickelodeon,

I have heard rumors that Noggin will soon be “Nick Jr.” and I have to say that I am greatly disturbed by this news.

Does this mean that Noggin will continue the same programming, and same, commercial-free format, but just be called something else? Will Moose and Zee still sing and preside over “Puzzle Time?” Noggin is great because most of the shows are interesting, fun, and educational, and I actually feel like my daughter is learning something while watching. There are times during the day when I have to work, and knowing that Moose and Zee will go over numbers and colors with her while I’m busy is a huge relief to me.

Every time I change the channel to Nick Jr, however, all I see is Sponge Bob. I know that this is a popular show, but its just about the asanine, worthless way to fill 30 minutes that I have ever seen. If Noggin changes and starts showing Sponge Bob half the day, instead of great programming like Yo Gabba Gabba and Wonder Pets, I believe I shall have to write an official letter of complaint.

Please take this into consideration.

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Posted in Child Rearing, On My Mind, Work-At-Home-Mom | 1 Comment »

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